heard	Faith No More			Introduce Yourself
			Mike Keneally			Dancing
			Seal			Seal
			Rush			Counterparts
			Ladies and Gentelmen...			it's a great mix CD that Gristina made for me. (I could listen to that track by Tricky all day long if I had to).

Allemande and this bird you'll never change… (11-2) T he thing about any sort of maturation process that you have to go through is that there is always going to be a stretch of time where the transition from caterpillar to monarch is going to have the sort of side effects that you wish you could obviously just skip over on your way to your final destination. Puberty. All of us have to live with the awkwardness, the memories, and the John Hughes films. It's a part of being alive. The acne, the new hair, the spontaneous erection in algebra class that made those already uncomfortable desks unlivable... all speed bumps on the road to a stronger body, a wiser mind, and the eventual desire to drive a minivan. Trouble is, it doesn't just happen to teenagers… I live in Jacksonville, Florida, and from where I'm sitting, this city's voice is starting to crack. Founded along the banks of the St. Johns River, Jacksonville had early aspirations of becoming an powerful port city that could compete with the Miami's, Tampa's, and Atlanta's for local and international commerce. Problem was, the area known as "Jacksonville" was actually a collection of several smaller communities spread out all over Duval County. For a long time, each of these areas had their own local governments, so any sort of economic growth plan or city wide agenda would usually stall and bog down as it tried to make it's way through each set of bureaucrats. Consequently, downtown stayed a shipping area, the north side of the city developed into an industrial and manufacturing center, the development of the beaches and west side were dominated the presence of Naval bases and the families that settled in and around them. Then in the late 60's there was a successful move for consolidation that pulled control of the city into a single area. In terms of the city's hopes for growth this was a good thing, because suddenly all of the different areas began to fuel a single economy, and there was less red tape when trying to develop projects. Businesses flourished, and the civic leadership began to act with a much stronger hand than it ever had in the past. Probably the largest and most influential group in Jacksonville is the Southern Baptists. Early in the city's development they were the landowners, businessmen, and philanthropists, and through the years their contributions to the city, whether they be church structures or hospitals have helped to shape the image that Jacksonville presents to the rest of the world. The Baptist leadership is still seen (rightly or wrongly) as an invisible hand that controls everything that happens in town. It sounds sinister, and occasionally it can be, but when you live in this part of the south it's pretty much just par for the course. The result is Jacksonville's continuing reputation as one of the most conservative cities in the Northern Florida/Southern Georgia area. In addition to our record of backing conservative politicians, many of the cities policies and regulations are aimed at keeping the morality of the city along a certain path. Bars close at 2 a.m. (a full two hours before clubs in other cities even think about shutting down), liquor sales are forbidden on Sundays, and there are stringent obscenity regulations on the books aimed at keeping the adult entertainment industry from ever taking a strong foothold in town. Considering that there are navy bases, shipyards, and manufacturing plants all over town, as well as a huge transient population of young professionals moving in from bigger cities around the country, you can imagine just how popular this is with some of the folks in town. And this leads to the real problem. The folks who want Jacksonville to become a big business city (the mayor, the new business owners, and the younger population) understand that cities like Tampa and Atlanta have experienced big growth because they are not only economic boomtowns, but also because they are cultural hubs. People go to Tampa knowing they can go to Ybor City and get crazy. The same goes for Buckhead in Atlanta. A great city must be a fun city. Jacksonville still insists that one of the cities main sources of income is tourism, but unless you're in town for a football game or want to go to a couple very nice nature preserves… well, you get the picture. The book on Jacksonville is clear. It's a good place to start a business, nice place to raise a family, but it's a shitty town to party in. Now there is obviously more to being a cultural hub than booze, strippers, and porn, but it does play a part in how the city is viewed. Despite all it's growth, Jacksonville is still largely seen as a town of the "old south." We're still widely thought of as rednecks and bible thumpers. Let's not forget that this is a city that passed a referendum allowing for prayers to be read out loud at local school graduations, even though the reading of prayers for one religion instantly alienates anyone who might not be of the same religious persuasion, and that nasty little church and state thing in the constitution that we've all heard so much about…   And perhaps that's what has made the last few weeks in this city so intriguing.   Two days ago, a team of businessmen and investors went to Atlanta with one goal in mind…   Bringing a Superbowl to Jacksonville. Despite the moral and social issues that divide this town, the one thing that has always served to unify this city has been football. Moral high grounders and free spirited party animals will gladly put down their swords in order to watch a good football game. Even before the city landed an NFL franchise six years ago, there were college football fans all over this city. The annual Florida Georgia weekend is still one of the biggest college football events in the nation, and this city has been the home to that game for decades. Jacksonville may be five small towns masquerading with one city name, it might be a town where the rich are absurdly rich, and the poor scare the hell out of you with just how tough they have it, but one thing is certain - everyone in this town loves the game. But the group that headed up to Atlanta to try and win the game for the city weren't thinking about creating harmony between the dowagers and the beer-guzzlers. They were thinking about money. The Superbowl is huge, huge business. Not only for the Stadium hosting the game, but for the businesses surrounding the stadium as well. The Superbowl is the largest sporting event in this country, and the weeks leading up to it mean enormous amounts of money for hotels, restaurants, shops, and especially for those who provide entertainment…. And then it all comes back. The Superbowl is not only a huge football game, but it is a large party for fans, football players, celebrities, and the media. If the recent games in Miami and Atlanta are any indication, the parties and revelry that accompany the game are as, if sometimes not more important that the actual game itself. And perhaps that is what the NFL was thinking when they pushed Jacksonville to bid for the 2005 Superbowl. Two years ago Eugene Robinson, a safety for the Atlanta Falcons, was staying at a motel at Southbeach in Miami with his wife and family the night before the big game. Reports say Robinson told his wife he was going to 'go to the store' as he left the motel room. Ten minutes later he was in handcuffs for soliciting sex from an undercover policewoman. Last year in Atlanta following the Superbowl victory by the St. Louis Rams, all-pro linebacker Ray Lewis was at a party with several friends when a fight broke out, and the man arguing with Lewis and his companions was stabbed to death. Lewis just barely escaped a murder conviction, but this incident occurring right on the heels of the horrific story of a young wide receiver (Rae Carruth) conspiring to murder his pregnant girlfriend spurred a number of high profile news stories about the caliber of people involved in professional football and what, if anything, could be done about the continual transgressions being made by these potential role models. The NFL tried a lot of things for spin control, handing out fines and suspending players with well known and long ignored substance abuse problems, but the damage was done. I love football, but even I found it hard not to feel disappointment at the apparent lack of character from the athletes who play the game. Now I should point out that not all football players are thugs, but the trouble is that it's hard to figure out which ones aren't. Not only is that disheartening as a general fact, but when you consider that the social makeup of NFL players is 70 to 90 percent African American, it's not hard to see what damaging negative stereotypes could arise if athletes continue to get arrested or implemented in serious crimes (not all of the offending players are black, but there is a very different reaction from fans when white players like Kerry Collins, Brian Griese, or Mark Chmura commit a crime versus incidents where African American players like Randy Moss, Andre Rison, or Bam Morris are involved). Yes, it's a double-standard -- and no, it's not fair, but this is still The United States of America. This is still the country where Clarence Thomas is a pariah and Bill Clinton is just an embarrassing mishap, and until the day when every African American male is given a $10 million dollar guaranteed contract and access to the best lawyers in the world by the time he turns 20 years old, there needs to be some realization of the effect it might have on society's preconceptions when a newscaster says "Another athlete has been convicted of…" So perhaps the NFL's move to set the biggest party of the season in cold weather cities like Detroit and bible belt cities like Houston and Jacksonville is more of a well calculated move than we might have originally thought. But the fact remains that Jacksonville is ecstatic about the implication that comes with being awarded this event. The NFL is, in effect, acknowledging Jacksonville as a major city, and will be counting on Jacksonville to put on a good show to insure that the Superbowl continues to be one of the biggest spectacles in all of sports. However, there is a huge risk involved if the Superbowl should not turn out to be a success. When superbowl games are not competitive (and many of the recent games have been one-sided blowouts) the success of the Superbowl is judged by how exciting the "event" is. Despite this possible move by the NFL to make the Superbowl "tamer," Jacksonville will eventually be judged on how much fun they can provide for the fans, the teams, and the media that attend the festivities leading up to, and after the game. The game in Miami two years ago still lives in infamy because of wild celebrity-filled parties and presumably all of the people who propositioned women who were not undercover police officers. The warm climate of Miami and the "open" atmosphere of the Southbeach area provided a bikini clad sort of atmosphere in January that made for one of the biggest parties the league had ever seen. Further evidence of just how important the party around the Superbowl is almost as important as the game itself came last year in Atlanta, when an unexpected rash of winter weather and bad planning left many travelers stranded in airports and caused the cancellation of several high-profile parties that were supposed to happen in and around the game. As a result, the Atlanta game has been bashed in the media as being a "bad Superbowl" - and this accusation comes despite the fact that the whole supposed focus of the event - the game itself -- was tremendously exciting, with the outcome not being decided until the last two minutes of the fourth quarter. In addition, the game contained one of the most compelling football side-stories in recent memory, the meteoric rise of Rams QB Kurt Warner (a man who might be mistaken for Ned Flanders save for the fact that he can throw a football 80 yards down the field without even thinking about it). But despite a conquering success by one of the NFL's "good guys," the Atlanta Superbowl's legacy will forever be the cold weather, the lack of wild parties, and the murder incident involving Ray Lewis. Add that to a low-rated Olympics the year before that included a terrorist bomb attack, and it's not hard to assume that it will probably be some years before Atlanta is awarded the chance to host another big-time sporting event. Jacksonville doesn't get as cold as Atlanta does in February (when the 2005 superbowl is going to be held), but those months do get a little on the chilly side. And even if the weather is pleasant, being so close to a large river and the Atlantic Ocean often leads to a lot of rainstorms during the winter months. If anyone remembers the Jaguars/Ravens game from 1999, you can just imagine what might happen… But aside from these uncontrollable factors is still the issue that will now face city planners and business owners in this city for the next three years.   Is this city decadent enough for the Superbowl? Again, we go back to the things that folks outside of Jacksonville point to when they talk about how bad a party town this place is. What results is a dilemma that city officials will have to face when they realize that if they don't alter the entertainment landscape of the city, they could risk leaving a bad impression on super bowl fans. If that were to happen Jacksonville could walk away from this whole thing with a tainted reputation, much like what happened to Atlanta in 1999. On the other hand, if they do alter the way this city parties, city leaders would surely face the wrath of the local religious leadership and the conservative voters all over the city. Case in point. Religious and political leaders have tried for years to shut down Nude Dance clubs in this town. After some vicious court battles, the city has come to an uneasy peace with the Adult Entertainment industry. However, despite the fact that there are three times as many strip clubs in Jacksonville as there were when I was growing up here, the regulations that apply to these businesses are so strict that it has been brought up as a possible concern for out of town fans who are accustomed to a different standard for this sort of entertainment. Specifically of concern is the regulation that states that clubs featuring nude women are prohibited from serving alcohol of any kind. In other words, if you go to a bar to see strippers, you have to drink orange juice, coffee, or Kool-Aid while you do it. This policy has a 'double whammy' effect on curbing the number of all-nude dance clubs in town because it really limits the revenues these places can make. First of all, there's only so many times someone will by a three dollar glass of water before they start to get annoyed, and secondly, you'd be surprised just how stingy you get with your tips to the dancers when you are stone cold sober while watching them perform. The policy keeps some men away from the nude clubs, and it also keeps potential dancers away from what might be half the money they could make anywhere else. The other variety of clubs in town are known as "bikini bars" - these clubs serve alcohol, but the dancers must follow strict rules regarding what they show and what they cover up. Some clubs try to stretch the rules by letting dancers wear pasties to cover up just enough to be legal, but reports from strip club patrons is that the effect is just not erotic at all. In addition, the nude clubs are restricted from overindulgent lap dances, and the bikini bars are regulated down to the distance they can be away from someone when they give private dances of any kind. In general, the city has regulated exotic dance clubs so that they are not much fun to go to, and only so lucrative to work for. And even though people who have always lived in Jacksonville don't know the difference (their heads would probably explode if they ever went in a strip club anywhere else in the nation) this will turn into a real concern when the town is suddenly flooded with thousands of football fans from places where strippers are allowed to do much more and alcohol is an expected part of the show. The other concern that has been raised is that because of the effects of these restrictions, there are not nearly enough establishments of this type to meet the expected demand. There has been talk of bringing in "reinforcement dancers" from Atlanta and Tampa (what, like the Stripper National Guard and Reserves?), but if these dancers are also held to these same restrictions I don't see how much difference it could possibly make. On top of all of this, as the city's business community grows, there has been added pressure on the local government to close these places down all together. A part of the creative way that the city has worked to allow these places to exist was to restrict zoning for these kinds of clubs to industrial or outlying areas of town. In other words, if the city couldn't close these places down, then they would make them hard to get to. However, as the city has continued to grow, some of these outlying areas have become hotspots for new urban development. A recent feature story in Folio Weekly describes how local politicians and business owners feel the presence of these clubs hinders the potential for the city attract new companies and revenue, as well as painting the city in a bad moral light. And this brings up yet another issue. The Superbowl wont be here for another four years. Jacksonville Mayor John Delaney has to run for re-election next year. And this issue could put him right in the middle of a fight that he's been able to deftly avoid up to this point in his tenure. Delaney's political strength to this point has been his ability to offer Jacksonville as a city growing by leaps and bounds, an image that has succeeded in bringing new businesses into the area, and new jobs with them. Delaney has a great knack for making the people in this town feel good about where they live. Just recently he championed an urban renewal plan that would address several run-down parts of the city and provide for new theaters and libraries. Delaney invoked the professional populations envy of larger nearby cities and easily convinced the voters to approve a tax hike for themselves just so they could keep up with the Jones's. On first glance this Superbowl deal would look like more of the same success for Delaney, as well as more opportunity for all of Jacksonville. But if the businesses that Jacksonville needs to attract to make for a more successful superbowl come in direct conflict with the conservative mindset of the city, then the politicians might have to do some fancy dancing of their own to try to make everybody happy at the same time. And if that comes to pass, Delaney's political enemies will have all the fuel they need to bury him long before the NFL championship ever gets near the town. Perhaps in anticipation of these problems, the cornerstone of the Jacksonville pitch for the superbowl was the idea to make up for the lack of hotel rooms, restaurants, and entertainment in the downtown area by having cruise ships dock close to the football stadium. Since almost all cruise ships are registered with foreign countries, the city probably wouldn't even be able to effectively enforce some of the local laws that might hinder the celebrating happening onboard. In addition, the NFL can probably swing a nice little payday from licensing tie-ins with the various cruise ship companies. But because the Superbowl has become a corporate and political meeting ground as well as a chance for celebrities and pro athletes to be seen and have a good time, the cruise ships will probably be priced well out of reach of the actual football fan who might come to town to watch the game. In an attempt to address this problem, the city plans to create a "temporary party district" in the area between the ships and the game that will provide some of the types of entertainment that this city doesn't normally offer. This party area, which will apparently be named "Touchdown Alley," looks like it's going to be built only a few months before the Superbowl and then torn down almost as soon as the game is over. Along the same theme, stories have been released saying that local residents will be given a few days prior to the festivities to enjoy the cruise ships and entertainment for themselves, but as the game draws closer those activities will be restricted to only those people who will be attending the game. So the conservative community leadership could take heart in the fact that even if the superbowl celebrations are decadent or distasteful to them, they would take place on cruise ships or in clubs built only for this one event. The part of town where the Cruise Ships are to be docked in is a largely industrial area where few people live, so the chances for an "entertainment district" like Tampa's Ybor City popping up in town seems very remote. And If the only people allowed to party after 2 a.m. are the people on the cruise ships, then the chances for sweeping changes to the city's morality codes would also seem remote. On the other side of the coin, these provisions also seem to ensure that the people who come to our fair city to party and enjoy the superbowl won't have to be bothered too much by the local population, who will still be subject to the old laws, and even if they could afford to participate in the parties on the cruise ships, if they don't have a ticket to the game (superbowl tickets are never easy to come by) then they cannot even be on the cruise ship! Has anybody ever been at a house where your sibling was having a party and your parents made it a point to tell you that you weren't allowed to go to it, because you might embarrass your sibling in front of all his little friends? Is this the master plan that the economic development guys had when they pitched the superbowl idea to the NFL? "We've got a big stadium in a warm weather city, we're going to build a party district just for you and your guests, and we're going to make sure your Superbowl experience won't be marred by having to deal with any of the simpering yokels that live in our fair city!"   Kind of makes you wonder about who's gonna receive the most benefit from all of this, doesn't it? Something like this could pump literally millions of dollars into our community, but if you look at it a certain way, the implication is that the fans who take part in the cruise ship idea will be so enthralled with the novelty of it that they will all stay on the ships instead of going to local hotels, restaurants, and shops. The bars and clubs will either be on the ships or in "Touchdown Alley," an area that's being called temporary at best… If I am the local businessmen of Jacksonville, I think I might be asking "Can we play too?" Now surely this event will be big enough that a couple of cruise ships and short term clubs won't be able to handle all of the demand, so there will be some spoils for the local businesses, but there's something about all of this that smells kinda funny… Who gets to be on the ship, and just who is going to get stuck at the Holiday Inn across the river? And what's going to happen to me, Joe Resident of the city hosting the Superbowl, when all of the local businesses jack up their prices 300% in anticipation of free-spending out of town fans and all of those cash cows stay on the boat buying duty free goods? Don't get me wrong - I would love to be in a town where a superbowl is going to be held. As a football fan, I think it would be ultimately cool to get swept up in all of the excitement and hoopla that will come to town. But when you look at things from a distance, you wonder if the city isn't getting stars in it's eyes for all the money that's going to come into town, and kind of forgetting about the people who are here already. If Jacksonville is able to pull this off, the exposure alone will benefit the city in a huge way. But if it does happen, there won't be any turning back - this town will have to step up and stand shoulder to shoulder with the bigger cities that the city leaders think we are ready to compete with. The problem is, this is still five small towns, and the small town mentality is still very strong throughout large portions of the population. People worry about traffic, about congestion, and crime. There is crime in Jacksonville, but it's nothing compared to other metropolitan cities in the area.   I had a friend from New York over one night, and we were watching the evening news tell about a tragic crime in town. A little embarrassed, I sheepishly apologized that all I had for him to watch was bad news and crime, and he smiled at me and said, "No, it's all right. Compared to the news I watch back home, this is soothing."   I'll be honest. I want the clubs in town to be open until 4 am like they are everywhere else in the country. I want more entertainment adult or otherwise to be drawn to this city. I want to live in a town that my friends want to visit, and right now that isn't the case. I want this to be a town for people to cut loose in. I moved away from Tallahassee specifically because the "small town" attitude of the place drove me nuts. If anything, I see the Superbowl is a chance for Jacksonville to re-evaluate it's "mother hen" mentality and allow its citizens to choose their own moral path (even though I fear that the city will find a way to sneak around that chance). And understand something, just because a town allows strip clubs or other "objectionable" forms of entertainment it does not mean that we are all going to hell in a hand basket, or that we will all be racing to those clubs every night. What it means is that the opportunity will exist for me to choose that sort of entertainment if I want to. It will mean that the town offers something for everyone, and can be open to all sorts of different things. To me, it's just an indication that my possibilities are not limited by someone else's opinion of what's good for me or not. Let me make my own choices, or I might choose to move somewhere else that will. Jacksonville is at a crossroads, having to decide whether it wants to be Tallahassee, or if it wants to be Tampa. By bringing the Superbowl to town, it seems clear which direction the cities leaders want to move in. Now we have to see just how far they will be willing to go if they want to step up and play with the big dogs.