There Have Been

Bad Moments


God bless the child that's got his own
mama may have, papa may have...
4-20

 
One of the things that I worried about when I discovered that I was about to become a father was the fact that through the act of bringing a child into this world, I gained instant membership into one of the most myopic, single-minded, overreactive interest groups that this country has ever known
 
Concerned parents.
 
Especially when my son was only a few months old, and you could literally see how fragile he was, I wondered if it would be too long before I switched from being a loving parent worried about his own child's welfare to the point where I was crusading against the whole of humanity to protect all helpless children from a world whose only wish is to see them suffer...
 
I honestly don't know what I would do if something happened to him.
 
Kim and I were discussing this, after watching yet another horrible news story about a child needlessly dying in some accident. How could we not go insane? How could we not take out our anguish on anything, anybody that we felt deserved the blame for such a tragedy?
 
But there's the word that scares me...
 
Blame.
 
Blame is a dangerous word, and for my taste, it's one that is far too overused in this country. For some reason, it always has to be somebody's fault when something happens. Especially when the event is something as catastrophic as children dying.
 
Santana High. Oklahoma City. Columbine. How could these things happen? Who's to blame? Who's fault is this?
 
My problem is not so much with the blame culture, as it is sort of an inevitable truth of human nature. We don't kill each other for survival. We're motivated to it by something else. Wanting to find out what that something is, that's a function of self-awareness.
 
We think, therefore we are.
 
My problem lies with the scavengers who live off of this fear; feeding our own uncertainties back to us, raising our suspicions, cultivating our own paranoias.
 
My problem is with the media.
 
All my life I have been pro speech. I believe in our right to expression, which extends to our right to be informed about the world around us by a free press. But I also believe that this right, just like any of the liberties given to us by the founders, has to be exercised with a level of restraint and responsibility.
 
The issue that I have always had with the news media is this: What's the difference between information that people need to know in order to live better lives, and information that lays blame for why the world isn't a better place.
 
What's the difference between facts and fingerpointing?
 
Take this news story as an example.
 
Basically the story says that a recent research study found that the more time a child spends in day care, the more likely that child will grow up to exhibit aggressive behavior and have trouble socializing with others.
 
Let me say this first. Daycare scares the hell out of me. The horror stories you hear: the daycare worker that picked up a toddler at his home, drove him and several other children to the center, and then forgot to take the toddler out of the car for the entire day, causing the baby's death. How about the fact that on the westside of the city I live in there is a guy who goes around to various schools and daycare centers, flashing his genitals at the children who are there. A guy who has been doing this on and off for six months... a guy they haven't caught yet?
 
Add to that the fact that daycare is ridiculously overpriced, and the employees of these places aren't always the cream of the human crop, and yeah, I can see where the research studies findings might make sense.
 
Day care is fucked. Kids who spend time at daycare are fucked. If you don't want fucked up kids, don't send your kids to daycare.
 
I get that. Despite the fact that I think there's a whole lot more that goes into making a troubled child than just how much time he or she is spending at a day care center, I think that this is good to know. To me, this is valuable information. It tells me that we need to rethink the entire concept of daycare. We need to figure out what can be changed about it to make it a place for children to develop and grow.
 
But the problem I have is that the local and national newscasters who broadcast this story did so citing by examples of children who went to daycare for extended periods of time who were now monsters. Showing footage of horribly out of control kids who were portrayed as ticking time bombs, waiting for the chance to go off.
 
Tell me something, how are you supposed to feel if you are a single mother with two kids who have been in day care since they were six months old just so you can go to work to make ends meet?
 
Basically the news just told you that your kids are bad. You made a bad choice, your kids are screwed because of it, and you should feel horrible. If you can't stay at home with your kids and forget all that silly feminist careerism crap, you're going to be the cause of the next Columbine.
 
It's not about reconciling why something happened anymore. It's about finding out who is accountable for these things happening, and condemning them. It's about finding a group to blame, so that the rest of the society can rest easy that it wasn't anything they did.
 
The other thing that has been driving me nuts lately is this entire situation in Cincinnatti that just ended a few days ago. I don't know about where you are, but here in Jacksonville, Florida -- the news coverage was next to nothing.
 
What I heard on the news was that black people were rioting. What I didn't hear on the news is that white cops gunned down an unarmed african american youth. Furthermore, it turns out that this was the 15th african american suspect that the Cincinnatti police department has killed since 1995 (guess how many white suspects were killed? Here's a hint -- it rhymes with zero).
 
It disturbs me in a serious way that the local news services decided to play this story down. Without the internet as a resource, I might not have known about it at all!
 
The fact that cops in Cincinnatti are running a private race war unchecked by anyone is frightening enough. It's this kind of abuse of power that keeps peace from ever happening. But the idea of a press that picks and chooses what information it doles out to the people should scare the hell out of everyone.
 
Just like it scared the hell out of the men who wrote the Constitution. 

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