THBBM - Brian

Brian
Ann had no use for a guy whose claim to fame was suddenly being pie...
11-8

Be my friend, Brian De Palma.
Because I want to be yours.
: I want to see your movie when it comes out. I want to sit there, watching lives flicker across the air above me before they splash onto the screen. I want to enjoy the nuance, I want to find the curves underneath the rough, I want to see the sparkle on the edges of the eye makeup.
: I want someone pretty to turn to me with a hesitant, flirty smile and say, "can you... do an accent like that?"
: I want to go there. Be there. Live there.
Be my friend, Brian De Palma.

: I've never seen Paris. I've never been to France. I only know you from the pictures I've seen.
: But I think we'd get along.
I think we'd jive.
: I need a friend, Brian De Palma. I think I've finally figured that out. After all the shadows and all the reaching. After being told by how many people, after seeing myself in how many mirrors on how many night club walls. After all the connections that were too far not to be filled with static and interference, it's dawned on me. The light's gone on.
Be my friend, Brian De Palma.
"The fish don't go no place. They stay right where they are, the fish. Right in the goddamn lake."
: And I don't mean that I write you a fan letter and someone answers it and sends me an eight by ten. I don't mean that you call me on the phone some day and tell me that you read this. I don't mean that I get treated to an all expense one-day trip to the set of your next film where I stand around wearing studio swag while I wait for a photo-op.
: I mean... we should hang out. We should sit around, throw back a few, point at the television when it's being stupid, talk about those things we see every day that we think are funny.
"The fish - that's different. The fish is different. I'm talking about the ducks"
: I have friends. I really do.
They're just far away.
: It's not their fault. They didn't mean to go without me, or grow up somewhere else before I met them. They just needed to go. That's how it is. That's how we live.
"What's different about it? Nothing's different about it," He said. "It's tougher for the fish, the winter and all than it is for the ducks, for Chrissake. Use your head, for Chrissake."
Be my friend, Brian De Palma.
: I see us hanging out at some place, listening to loud, obnoxious music. I see us trying to concoct alcoholic beverages out of Nyquil and cooking wine. I see us coming up with alternate dialog sequences for the endings of movies that you should have directed, but were too selective to consider.
: I see us three in the morning, out of our mind on jagermeister, fighting back the giggles as we dial Rebecca Romin-Stamos' phone number (you know you still have it). We lean in close to the receiver, and try to assume fake voices as we whisper:
: "You're married to BJ... from BJ and the Bear... BJ and the BEAR!"
: And then as the swallowed snickers turn to unbearable snorts, we have to hang up fast like 8th graders afraid to be caught. I can see us doing that, Brian De Palma.
I have friends... I really do.
: I meet people all the time. I see new faces everyday. There are friends in those eyes. Friends in those emails, text messages, and casual conversations. I work. There are people I simply can't get away from five days a week. It's sort of embarrassing to say it, but it seems like a couple of them aren't repulsive... despite the fact that I always seem to want them to be.
: Of course, there have been times when I really didn't want to be around my real friends at all. And I'm sure there were times when they didn't want to be around me, either.
That's how it is, though. That's how we live.
: I expect a lot. I want a lot. I need a lot. I'm funny that way. My individualism seems to be sometimes defined by the way it reflects off the people I'm around on a regular basis. My charm only seems to work best when there's someone there to feel it. If a loner falls over in an empty forest - well, you know...
"All right. What do they do, the fish and all, when that whole little lake's a solid block of ice, people skating on it and all?"
: Be my friend, Brian De Palma.
"What the hellaya mean - what do they do?" He yelled at me. "They stay right where they are, for chrissake."
: Be the kind of friend I have where the other people I know say to me, "You're friends with De Palma? Jeez, I heard he was an asshole." And then I would always be the one to say, "You just kinda need to get to know him a little first." And then the next time that I saw you, the last thing I'd ever say would be, "So and so thinks you're an asshole."
: Because, well - you are an asshole.
Or at least, you are whenever so and so's around...
: And just knowing that fact, knowing that you quietly get a kick out of it...
: Do you need someone to open up to? Do you need a place you can go? Everyone sees Rebecca shaking it in front of the camera and they just shrug it off. That's just Brian, filming his fantasies for everyone to see. Pouring his deepest dirty secrets into some flimsy story line just so he can have a camera handy when Rie Rasmussen starts doing her thing...
"They can't just ignore the ice. They can't just ignore it." "Nobody's ignoring it. Nobody's ignoring it. They live right in the goddam ice. It's their nature, for Chrissake. They get frozen right in one position for the whole winter."
: Are your films your message? Is your art your statement? Can you do that sort of thing in a big budget movie anymore? Is there some hidden part in The Untouchables where you somehow allude to your relationship with your father?
I loved that movie. But I gotta tell ya, if that was in there, I totally missed it. I have seen it a zillion times, though... and I think that should count for something.
: Maybe we'd hang out weekends, watch sports teams we didn't care about, look at waitresses. Maybe you'd have a bunch of beer, and realizing that one of us was going to have to drive, I would start ordering bottled water instead. Or maybe it's you who doesn't drink at all, but enjoys footing the bill while his friend gets blotto.
: It was one of us, I don't really remember which anymore. I wasn't old enough to be in that bar at the time anyways, so it all seems like a moot point. But let's just say that you eventually do get a little buzzed along the way. You reach that point where silent understanding is much more important than getting out a complete sentence without slurring.
You'd say to me, "You were surprised when it turned out to be Sinise in the end, weren't you?" And I would take down the last of my Aquafina and reply, "You know it man, I never saw that coming."
"What do they eat then? I mean, if they're frozen solid, they can't even swim around looking for food..." "Their bodies, for Chrissake - what'sa matter with ya? Their bodies take in nutrition and all, right through the goddam seaweed and crap. They got their pores open the whole time. That's their nature, for Chrissake."
: You have to understand, I can be kind of prissy. I need to be told I'm cool once in a while, even when I'm not. There's a serious value in being told you're attractive by a woman who has no reason to say so. Especially when you start to doubt it yourself - Especially when you can't find your way out of that doubt long enough to take it seriously from the people closest to you.
: Your work isn't good just because you made it.

I know that's what you hear all the time.
I know that's what it sounds like when I talk to you about it

I don't like your work just because I like you.

Your work is good because it's good work.
: We don't have to be friends for me to say that. But maybe we have to not be friends for you to truly believe it.
: Which would be too bad. Because I really like your work, and I really want you to know that.
: But I also want you as a friend.
Because I need a friend right now.
I need someone I can be honest with.
But I need someone I can lie to, as well.
: My work isn't all of who I am. I want it to be, but in my big budget film world, that doesn't always seem possible. I need a stranger. But I need one who's here. Strangers who aren't don't always bring out the best in me...
: * * * * * *
: Wednesday nights are dollar Guinness night at this old Jax Beach biker bar called The Ritz. They've cleaned it up considerably since the days we used to hurry past it on our way to Einsteins. Don't get me wrong, there are still bikers there, but most of them only ride weekends. I'm thinking of meeting up there with this guy in town who said he liked my writing, a guy I've never met before. We hit some of the same web sites, and I guess the wires just crossed the right way, or something. I'm hoping he's as cool in real life as he seems in his emails. I'm also hoping that he doesn't think I'm a dork, or get mad if I tell him how cool I think his daughter is.
: I don't really like Guinness as much as a lot of my other friends do. But I think I'm gonna save up some cash and try to be there next week. Who knows - if it works out, maybe it will become a regular thing?
: I'd love for you to come and meet us there, if you've got the time...
Be my friend, Brian De Palma.

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