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Lisa it's Your Birthday
I should warn you, I'm not like other guys...
11-15
- The other night after picking Ebony up from work I caught part of the Michael Jackson 30th Anniversary special on TV. And I don't want to be hyper-critical and kick a guy when he's down or anything, but do you know who looked really, really bad on that show?
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- Slash
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- Sure, Jacko looked like a complete freakshow too -- but I was sort of expecting that. There was a time in my life when Michael Jackson's slow transformation into a white woman was a shocking thing, but last night I realized that I am sort of used to it now.
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- But Slash looked bad. Really bad.
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- You know you've fallen from grace when you're called in to look like the rock guitar player, and not to be one. In a sea of tuxedoed orchestra players and overly exuberant backup dancers, Slash looked like a prisoner of war standing up there, especially considering that he was wearing a truck net instead of a shirt.
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- I mean, it was bad enough that he was called in to stand there and wank around during "Black and White," but THEN he switched guitars and then proceeded to massacre Eddie Van Halen's lead break in "Beat It." I mean, it's not like you had to play the thing note for note.. but at least try to have something in mind when your 16 bars come up, ok?
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- But the one thing that bugs me the most about his appearance is the fact that in the end, it was totally unnecessary.
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- The concert featured a whole slew of of skinny women and faaabulous men in thug gear tossing themselves all over the place during the literally dozens of overblown dance numbers going on, and frankly during his time on the stage Slash seemed lost among the throngs.
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- In the end, the show was about dance music and dancers, and even being a guitar player I was at a loss to explain what (if anything) the presence of Cousin It added to the numbers he participated in.
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- But what cheeses me off most of all about all of this is the fact that Michael Jackson already has a fantastic guitar player in his band -- Jennifer Batten. Besides the fact that she's been touring with Jacko for years, it's pretty common knowledge that she can easily play circles around ol' Guns and Poses without breaking a sweat.
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- And even if Jennifer wasn't available for those songs, it's not like Tito wasn't standing right backstage the whole time!
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- I mean, where's the love man?
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Where's the love??
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